That’s how long it’s been since I blogged! 8 weeks.
I’m not sure how that’s possible.
In those 8 weeks my heart has been torn in so many different places.
I really wanted to devote more time to blogging. To make this place what I dreamed it could be. But at the same time I always sensed it wasn’t quite the right time. I couldn’t place my finger on why, exactly. But maybe now I know.
On March 28 my mom suffered heart failure and slipped into a coma. One she would never return from. My mom passed away on Sunday, April 7. Just three days before her 67th birthday. The last few weeks have been filled with so many different emotions. Pain over the fact that my mom was going to die. Joy that she would be at home with Jesus, with a new body, and reunited with loved ones gone before, including an infant son who died 40 years ago. Peace that could only come from the Holy Spirit through the many, many prayers of family and friends. Anguish over decisions no one should ever have to make. Sorrow over watching my dad go home alone, without his companion of 45 years. Comfort from seeing so many people come out to support our family over this time. Hundreds.
My mom touched a lot of lives. And I miss her. Even now the tears come as I type.
I miss her great, big, hearty laugh that could be heard across the room. I miss her smile. I miss her voice.
I think about the fact that no one will ever bake Hartshorn Cookies like she did. No one. Or cream puffs. Or pie.
I hate to think of my kids growing up without Grandma. They’ll miss her birthday cards and Christmas gifts.
I think of all my mom taught me over the years. How to be a hard worker. To not complain about your lot in life. And when life knocks you down, you just pick yourself up and keep going. You don’t quit. She taught me how to keep house. How to cook. How to garden. She let me explore my creative side. She let me be myself, even though it was hard for her when I turned out to be different than she wanted or expected me to be. She loved and accepted me anyway.
I miss her.
And I’ve really missed you too. I’d like to hop back in, if there’s still anyone here reading this dusty old blog. Bless you if you are! I wouldn’t blame anyone for giving up on this neglected blog of mine.
I also incorporated some stitching and paint splatters. I wanted this card to have a dreamy, ethereal look, and I love how the patterned paper helped me achieve that.
The sentiment is this one from Market Street Stamps. I stamped it in grey, but stamped it off once for a softer look and omitted the last word.
Before I go, I’m assuming most of you already heard about Google Reader being shut down in July. If you do follow my blog via Google Reader there are other options. You can follow my blog on Feedly, Bloglovin or Netvibes. I’m currently using Feedly and Bloglovin’. Deciding which one I like better. I use Feedly when I’m on my iPhone, which is often how I read blogs these days. I’m not really sure which one I like best for reading on my computer since I haven’t really tried either of them out a whole lot. I still use my Google Reader and probably will until I can’t any longer. But just so you know that there are other options.
If you’re still here reading this, thank you. I know I skipped out for quite a long time. I’m back. I’m really back this time. Thanks for sticking with me!